Not Yet Mended

Dear Gurustu,



"Jason" and I broke up last Valentines Day after dating for three years. He really broke my heart. I started going out with "Kevin" a couple of times after we met at a Christmas party and this is our first Valentines Day together. I'm excited, but really scared. What do I do?



Signed,

Not Yet Mended, Not Yet Dead.



.............................................



Dear NYM/NYD,



Valentines can be a great time for people in love; it can also be a time of great sadness for those without love... or a time of great pressure to move the relationship to the next level. This relationship is fairly new, so take it slow.



Approach this date without expectations. It's not like last Valentine's Day and it won't be like your next one either. Kevin isn't Jason, so don't plan as if he is... and don't plan as if he isn't either. Just go and enjoy yourself.



Also, put him at ease. He might be just as scared and as pressured. That won't bring you two any closer. If you haven't said "I love you" yet, don't feel like you HAVE to. It's tricky, I know, cause you don't want to NOT say it, for fear that it will signal that you're not really willing to go in that direction. Just be honest with him. Open communication can bring you two closer together. And if he knows he doesn't have to say or do anything but be with you, it might be all you need to have a fully loving relationship by next Valentines.



Just be true.



Gurustu