Neg Blocker

There's all this popular talk about blocking out carb-fat-calories-radiation these days. Wouldn't it be nice if we had something to block out the negativity that surrounds our lives?



Well, we do.



It just doesn't come in pill form.





Recognize the negativity

You may just be having a sense that something is wrong, but not actually know what it is. Go find out. Do some investigation; whether it's searching inside yourself or asking trusted people you know. Become aware of just what the negativity is, what it looks like and especially what it's doing to you.



See if you can stop it at its source

Once you can recognize the negativity, see if you can get rid of the cause. It could be a person, or an activity, or an old habit. Whatever it is, see if you can make it go away.



Fight fire with fire

In lieu of removing the source, you can always control its effect on you. Literally fight negativity with negativity… Say "NO" ... if not to the source, at least to yourself. You may not want to get too loud if you're in the library or on a crowded street, since people might look at you funny, but whenever you feel the negativity creeping in, say it. "NO!!!" can have a powerful way of stopping it from sinking in further.



Fill 'er up with the good stuff

If you're filled up with positivity… good thoughts, well wishes… it will be tougher for negativity to make room. After you say "NO"… immediately picture what you DO want (whatever that is, even if it's seemingly unrelated to the situation) Say "YES." For example, you might have an argument with a coworker or spouse and you picture a vacation home in southern France. Seems off-the-wall, but it shifts you towards a better state of being.



Stay true

All too often, we get into a revenge mode, or a "well, everyone else is doing it" mentality… and we let that justify our slip into a darker place. Don't do it. Just don't. If you truly want the world to be a better place, then you have to be the better person. Don't make "Everybody does it" a true statement… as long as you don't do it, the world is automatically a better place.



See how important you are?

How to be a Happy Pessimist

A Pessimist is not a Downer, just as an Optimist is not a Dreamer. Both just see the world differently. They expect different outcomes. The Pessimists like to fancy themselves "Realists" because they think they see the world as it really is, but actually they're only seeing half the picture.



Prepare, but don't expect

The really good thing about Pessimists is that they don't ignore the possibility of failure. That gives them a chance to explore the possibilities and have alternate plans ready. It's just really important not to EXPECT the worse to happen, because you may actually do subtle actions to ruin your chances of success.



Expect nothing, gain everything.





Enjoy the good times while they last

You believe that the good times won't last, right? But what are you doing while they're here? There's no law that says you can't enjoy the wonderful moments that life has to offer. So stop worrying that the worse is yet to come, and get to enjoying what's here now.





Don't make things worse

You create your own reality by every choice you make. If you believe that something is going to be bad, and you stop trying to make it better, it might actually get worse. You'll feel vindicated in that you expected it, but being in a worse situation won't make you feel any better, now will it? Be aware that you might be making the bad times happen.





You don't need to suffer

Yes, there is suffering in the world, and you should do something about it; just don't feel bad and believe you have to suffer yourself. Starving yourself is not going to feed a hungry child in a Third World Country (unless you mail them your sandwich). Feeling badly about a homeless person is not going to get them off the street any time soon. Don't feel guilty for having more than someone else, or just for having a good day.



By taking care of yourself, the world has one less person who's in pain.

Life's Play

William Shakespeare once wrote "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." There are going to be times in your life when those players come and those players go. It's up to you to direct the show, known as your life, if you ever expect to see a happy ending.





What's the story?

Like every play, your life has its own story. You don't really know how it's going to end, or even what's coming up next. The best thing you can do is keep up with what's going on and steer it in the direction you would like it to go. The rest will play out as it will.



Beginnings

Everything has its beginning. For it to be a good beginning, whatever came before had to prepare for that beginning. It may have been some other beginning, or it may have been some ending that started this beginning. Be prepared.



Beginnings usually take up more energy than something in the middle. It's the "ramp up" time… the "0 to 60" that gets you pushed in your direction. If you are beginning something, it's important to remember that, so you don't think it's always going to be tough or unfamiliar. It gets better as you get going.



Endings

What begins also has to end. It's part of the cycle of Life. If you can become accepting of this, and non-fearful of it, you'll have a chance to be braver during the lifespan of whatever it is you're doing. Don't live for the ending, but don't avoid it either.



Entrances

There are going to be people and things that come into the story of your Life. You need to make room for them, if you want them to be a part of your life. That means time and space. If you shift the direction of your life for another, it shows you care (and they should shift for you, or else it sets everything off balance, which is a bad thing).



Exits

Exits are the endings of others. People and things go away. You need to adjust to that as well, or else you just leave an empty space where they were. The adjustment is a form of grieving, and it's all natural. Think of it as filling up with new possibilities.



Final Bow

This is the big ending. The one that "caps" your life… puts the period at the end of your sentence. So what do you want that sentence to say?

Breaking the Downward Spiral

Sometimes you get into this downward spiral that you start to lose all control of your life. The only way seems to be down... and if you don't do anything it will be. It's time for drastic measures if you're going to prevent a crash. You have to regain control, if you ever want to fly again.





Realize the downward cycle

The first thing to do is realize that you're actually in a downward spiral. Everything is spinning out of control, so it's confusing. Recognizing that it's happening is the first part of gaining control. Gather up as much information as you can about your downward spiral. Where are you heading? How fast are you going? How close are you to disaster?



"I am in control"

You actually have to tell yourself that, or else you'll end up panicking and that'll only make matters worse. You CAN control it; you CAN get out of it. Once a downward spiral has actually started, there are a bunch of other factors now taking over. That can make you feel like you're helpless. You really aren't, but you rally aren't in control either. Now is the time to TAKE control.



Control the symptoms

Once you're in the downward spiral, the cause is irrelevant. Much like treating a runny nose and aching head of a cold, go after the symptoms and control it from there. In an every day life that's out-of-control, it could look like no time for yourself, a messy house, tons of arguments with those around you. You can clean up, get organized and stop trying to be "right" all the time… that will solve most of your downward problems right away.



Stop it!!

The spiral happens because the outside forces are now stronger than the inside forces. You literally have to apply the brakes to the outside. What that looks like in your personal life is saying "stop it" regardless of anyone outside hears it. You have to say it to stop the effect it has on you. Saying "NO" allows you to reach the "YES" that's inside you. It empowers you because you refuse to let yourself be controlled by outside.



Gently... Gently...

You can't just push in the opposite direction. That can make it worse. Being gentle, however odd that might feel at first is the only way to ease out of the problem.



Point away

When things star to ease up, you actually have to start moving away from the downward spiral. Once this happens though, you gain the control back, and can fly again.

When "Good Enough" Really is Good Enough

We are bombarded on a daily basis with perfection. "Get the perrrr-fect career, the perrrr-fect car, the perrrr-fect body"… to the point of paralysis. We get it into our heads that since we'll never be good enough, why should we even try?



Yet think of it this way... if everyone ELSE is thinking this and doing NOTHING, then you just have to do SOMETHING to move ahead. To do that, you just have to realize that good enough really is good enough.



Good enough isn't perfect

General George S. Patton once said "A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow." Tomorrow doesn't come and tomorrow will never contain the future we want if we do nothing about it today. And what if we actually DO get the perfect plan, only to discover it's a day late? Success is in the action, after all… so stick to what works today.



Good enough isn't "settling"

You're actually not compromising quality just because you don't make it "perfect." It's satisfaction with what good you do have. I can talk in clichés all day, but "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" seems very fitting right now. What you have with you does matter.



Good enough isn't mediocre

Notice the word "good" in there. "Good" is better than "nothing," "good" is better than "ok;" "good" is actually something worthy of having.



Good enough gets results

Imagine you're in a row boat, and you want the result of getting to shore. You put the oars in the water, you push… it's good. It's good enough to get you a little bit closer to shore, now isn't?



Repeatable "good" is the secret to success

OK, so you're not at the shore yet, are you? Nope… because "good enough" by itself is useless staying in the past. Putting the oars back into the waters, and pushing again… being "good enough" again, and again; gets you to the shore.



"Success comes from doing successful things repeatedly."

~ gurustu

Living lean

Living leaner can help you live larger.



I'm not talking about the latest diet craze and I don't claim to be a fitness guru. I'm talking about trimming all the extra "stuff" that weighs you down in life.



It's time to trim.





First figure out what NOT to trim

Basically, what is the "meat" of your life? People only NEED a few things, like food and water, air, some form of shelter to keep them from harm… but beyond that, what makes your life undeniably yours? Relationships, home, job, family… This is the area you DON'T need to trim; because it defines who you are.



Then…



Trim the meaningless

This is the obvious fat. Stuff that means nothing to you, whether it's physical clutter or some activity that you do… it just brings no sense of fulfillment to your life. Simply put - get rid of it! If it's "junk" then literally donate it to charity. If its some sort of activity that you don't need or want to do, let someone do it.



Trim the "cling-ons"

These are the things that are around because THEY feel it's important. Now this is not advice on being selfish, but it is a lesson in how to be self-caring. Carefully evaluate why something is hanging on to your life. If it's not mutually beneficial, then perhaps it's time to change it.



Trim the time wasters

There are some things that are meaningful to you, but just take more than they give. It could be a long-winded conversation with a loved one, or some other activity that just always takes longer than it should. For this, you just have to learn short cuts and ways to politely know when to end things. Once the value is gone from the time spent, it's time to spend that time someplace else.



Add more "meat"

Fortunately time is finite in every day; so you have to choose wisely what to do with it. If you just trim the "fat" you'll be left with pockets that can just get filled up with different "fat." By adding more meaningful stuff to those moments, you won't have any more time to waste.

Ask right...

Despite our own popular opinion, we don’t know it all. There are times we need to seek out the advice of others.



Knowing how to ask for help is the smartest thing you can do.



Know what to ask

Reduce your need to a sentence or two. Keep the questions simple, so the solution can be simple too.



Know who to ask

The person you ask needs to have YOUR best interests at heart, not theirs. This is about forwarding your life, not the manipulations of someone else’s selfish agenda.



Speak in questions

You are ASKING for advice, not looking for someone to rant to. Instead of saying something like “they don’t listen to me” you could ask “what would you do if someone else doesn’t listen to you?” That gives them another opportunity to give you an opinion.



Don’t box them in

It’s the details that bog you down. Don’t share too many details with your advisor unless they ask for them. Perhaps their freedom from details will bring about suggestions that can free you up too.



Listen openly

Don’t filter their advice against your details either. Don’t immediately jump to “it won’t work because…” That’s just setting you up to repeat failure. Take in their advice fully; then move on to making plans.



Follow through

Be willing to give the advice a chance. After all, you came here for advice; it’s no good unless you do something with it.



Follow up

Make an appointment to follow up with your advisor at a later date. That turns the advice into goals, and the follow through into a contract.

The Glass Just is...

The glass just is… the liquid in it, just is. You can see it as half-full or half-empty all you want; it’s still just a glass with some stuff in it. It is both… and neither.



The closer you can come to that ‘truth’ the more direct an experience you will have. No judgment, only experience.



Getting to that place is “half” the journey…



Recognize your Point of View

All too often we just assume we’re seeing things as they are. We don’t realize just how much we read into what we see… our past experiences, our current mood, the angle of our view… they all color the “truth.” First thing, acknowledge that this is just the way you see it. That will get you to separate your view from what you are viewing.



See the Value of the Other Half

It really isn’t an either-or situation. Just because a perspective is different than yours, doesn’t make it automatically wrong. Consider that there’re lessons to be learned by seeing the “opposite” point of view. A pessimist isn’t always a “downer’ and an optimist isn’t always a “dreamer.”



Seeing the other side will help you to…



Get to Neutral

“Neutral” is Balance. It isn’t “nothing” … but rather having both sides equal to one another. It is all about being centered between the duality known as “Life.”



Neutral isn’t Passive

You know that birds can fly best when they’re balanced. They can fly longer and farther, and with a lot less stress being in that “neutral” state. The same ought to be with you. When you get balanced, don’t just sit there like a lump… go do something!



Direct Experience

How about going one step beyond neutral? How about experiencing something as it is? Got a glass with some water in it? Drink up. Then you’ll get it…



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(And then the glass will be empty and you’ll be full. Funny how that works, eh?)

Balance Your Act

Everyone's talking about balance these days. Balance your diet with these supplements and that juicer. Balance your time with this timeshare or the latest electronic gizmo. If you use this abdominizer, that rubber stretcher or this electric shock heating pad, you'll balance your body in no time flat!



Balance doesn't come in a bottle or a box. It comes with Time and what you do with each moment.



Balance is the ultimate state of being. It's a completeness that can generate health and longevity. You see it mentioned in eastern philosophies where the yin and the yang have to be in harmony.



But you don't have to sit in silence for hours on end to achieve balance. In fact, the person who "works hard and plays hard" might actually be in more balance than anyone else.



So how do you get balanced? It's actually fairly easy in concept... and just a bit more difficult in practice.



Just add the other stuff...



It really is about ADDING, not SUBTRACTING. That might seem scary, considering all the stuff you already do; but if you realize that Time is finite, adding what you really want will help to push away the stuff that's putting you off balance.



It's also important not to subtract first. That creates a void? and anything can fill up the void, including the thing you just stopped. An example of that would be like a diet where you cut out sweets, but don't eat anything else? only to end up hitting the cookie jar at night. Adding gives you the control to have what you want.

Take time to play, if you work too hard.

Work, if all you do is play.



If you sit all day, go for a walk at night.

If it's too noisy, sneak away to a place for a moment of silence.



Eat some healthy food.

Exercise.



Do something, however little, for yourself every day.

It doesn't have to be equal time for each thing. Five minutes of quiet can balance eight hours of noise. A moment of play can counter tons of work. It's about HAVING this stuff in your life, more so than how long you have it.



It's your time, your life, your choice.



Add accordingly.

Being Present

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The greatest gift you can give to someone is being Present There is a special magic that happens when you acknowledge another person's existence. It doesn't have to be much… a smile, a kind word… just something to yes "hi, I know you're here."   The closer they are to you though, the more of "you" they need, in order to feel that sense of commitment. It's very simple in its principles, not always as easy as it looks, yet farther reaching than you can ever imagine. To make yourself "present" to someone, you have to bring yourself into the present moment fully, and remove all distractions so you can focus on being with that other person. Here're some hints to help you get there: Maintain eye contact When someone is talking to you, they can see where your focus is in your eyes. Looking away means your mind is there too. Looking them in the eye connects you.** Listen Don't pay any attention to that voice that's competing inside your head. Be silent, and really take in what they other person is saying. Acknowledge what they said "Uh huh... Yeah… Uh huh," is not acknowledgement. Make sure you let them know that you don't just hear what they say, you understand it too. Even paraphrase it in your own words and say it back, or ask them a question that furthers the conversation along. Add to their conversation not your own Your experience can be invaluable to them, but not if it's going off in some self-centered tangent. Make sure what you have to say is relevant, or else (again) they'll realize you weren't really paying attention. Don't judge their viewpoint This can be a tough one, because in order for you to understand them, you have to filter it through your own set of beliefs. You just have to keep your values to yourself, and not prejudge what you're hearing. Forget your past The mind is a funny thing most of the time. They'll say one thing and you'll be catapulted back to High School or Summer Camp and completely leave the present behind. If you get into those moments, get back to the Present. You'll get there by looking at the person with you and listening, Don't anticipate your future We also like to race ahead, way too often. Even if our intention is to hurry up and get to the answer, racing too far ahead will leave the solution behind. Besides, the person you're with might veer off at any moment, leaving you once again, not paying attention. Give them your time Don't rush things. Time is your life. The other person knows you value your time, so when you give of your time, you give of yourself. They get your present when you give a whole bunch of your present moments. ** Be aware that eye contact varies in different cultures… and the connection that comes from it might be construed as disrespect. Stay within the boundaries of comfort here, or else you'll miss all other points.

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Love, Love, Love

The Beatles sang "All you need is Love." Although two slices of bread and Love won't make a sandwich, they definitely were on to something. Love, when applied properly can make the difference between an ordinary existence and a fulfilling Life. To get your life in line with love takes a three step approach… Do what you love, love what you do and share it with those you love. Do What You Love Whether it's your job, or your family or just a hobby, if there's something you really enjoy doing, do it. There's no point putting up with a lot of "stuff" that you don't enjoy waiting for something better to come along. Even if you have to start small, don't put it off for another time. Love What You Do When you're doing something, do you take the time to take it in? Do you use that time to express yourself through it? Not everything is black and white, and it's not all gray either. There're a million colors out there to experience. So even if you're doing something that isn't completely fulfilling, bringing in even the tiniest bits of love can change your whole experience of the moment. Share It With Those You Love. Fulfilling moments last for the time they happen. Sharing the experience with those you care about elongates the moments… it changes them, enhances them and enriches them. And enriched moments make for a more fulfilling life… …and to get there, all you need is Love.

Don't Pursue Do!

I was at a "Meet and Greet" networking party a little while back. I met a lot of "Planners" there, with their dreams and schemes; something that they always wanted to pursue. The only problem was… no one was actually DOING anything.



Too often we talk in "some days." "Some day I'm going to sit down and write…", "I'm going to learn how to paint…", "…going to Europe…" There's never any date set, or plans to get there… only "I want to's" and "one of these days."

To get what you want out of Life, you have to put your Life into what you want.



That means you need to set up your goal, with a date and a plan to get there. And every day, yes EVERY day, you have to be moving in the direction of that goal, along your plan.



This web site is a perfect example of getting things done. Every day I checked my list and made sure I did SOMETHING… even if I didn't have a lot of time, I made sure the smaller things got done. And now that the site is here, I still have my tasks:

• Every day, I type an entry into my "blog"
• Every week, I add an article or letter.
• Every other week, my newsletter goes out.
• Every month, I add some entries in the personal side of my site - Guru Who?
• At least every quarter, I review the site itself, and improve the navigation, features, etc. to make overall improvements

That may seem like A LOT, especially if you look at it BEFORE you do it… but when you see that it really doesn't take as much as you think, you will see how far you can go.

An hour a day… or maybe only half an hour a day… but something… one step at a time. To get somewhere, you have to GO somewhere. So get going!



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The Right Brain's Guide to the Law of Attraction

A little while ago, I wrote “The Left Brain’s Guide to the Law of Attraction” for all my brainy friends who need to see the logic behind The Secret and the Law of Attraction. Well, for all you people in your right minds, I FEEL the urgency to tell the other side of the story.

Can you SEE it?
The right brain is the more visual, ‘creative’ side of the brain. It understands patterns, sees connections that don’t make any sense to the left, more ‘logical’, side. People who are more right-dominant tend to be artists, poets, dreamers… and experts at creating vision boards.

(In fact, they tell or their friends about vision boards and even hold vision board parties! But that’s another story, so let’s move on…)

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Feelings
Right-brainers are also more in ‘tune’ with their feelings, so as far as visualization goes, they’ve also got this one down. They know what it’s like to drive that car, to take that vacation, to wake up beside the one that they love.

Because emotions are energy-in-motion, the Law of Attraction often kicks in quicker for them. Right-brainers have great stories of how things manifested in 10 minutes and will brag about all the good parking spots.

Practically speaking
On the other hand, if logic is thrown out the window, the mind can become distracted by other shiny things. The Dreamer then becomes disappointed and wonders what they’re doing wrong (“I’ve got all my boards done and I visualize every day, why don’t I have it yet?”)

Results come from balancing the dream with the doing. In order to go from Dreams to Results you must take ACTION.

The Law of Attraction will bring it to you, but to GET it, you have to GRAB it.

Can you feel it?

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Learn the secret behind The Secret

The Left Brain's Guide to the Law of Attraction

I've heard people say that the Law of Attraction doesn't make sense. That The Secret makes it look too easy – just think and it shall come. While I have my own magical moments thanks to this "Law" I can understand how any "logical" person can dispute these mystical claims.

Well, I've got half a mind to tell you what I think.

So here's my left brain explaining some of the 'secrets' behind this power.

What Power of Positive Thinking?
Studies have shown that a positive outlook on life actually prolongs it. But even if it doesn't who cares? Do you really want to be grumpy all day?

The truth is, when you're depressed you don't want to do much of anything besides mope. Well, maybe eat a pint of ice cream too, but mostly mope. When you do nothing, you get nothing. Success isn't going to show up if you're not even going to get off your couch to answer the door.

Positive thinking puts you in a frame of mind to take ACTION… and action is what counts when you want to get anything done.

Like Attracts What?
Like attracts like. That's not magic, that's psychology talking. People tend to huddle in groups with people they feel safe with, whether it’s because they have similar characteristics or they know each other. Remember the saying "misery loves company"? That's grouchy people seeking out other grouchy people to out-complain each other. They hate happy people; and go the other way whenever a "Pollyanna" comes around. The same is true of happy people. They don't want the "Grinches" to spoil their mood, so they seek out other happy people.

Unsuccessful people hang out with other unsuccessful people, just as much as successful people hang out with others like themselves.

So if you want to hang out with successful, happy people, how are you going to have to be?

When will I see it?
You'll see it when you believe it. That's a Wayne Dyer-ish… and it's so true.

Opportunity happens all around us, all day long. We just don't see it. Growing up, we're inundated with input, so we learn to tune things out. Unfortunately, that also teaches us to not see opportunity even when it's staring us in the face.

Have you ever thought of buying a particular car only to then begin to notice it EVERYWHERE? It's not that there are more of that type of car out there, it's just you now have a reason to notice. It's called Reticular Activation; basically, "an aware brain."

So...

When we believe that there are opportunities everywhere, when we believe that we deserve them and when we are willing to jump in and do something about them, then we'll actually start to notice them more and more.

Here's another tip
It's called the Tipping Point. It's when it goes from struggle-struggle-struggle to a life of its own, perpetuating its own motion.

You ever notice that a project or cause can have no one for the longest time, and then suddenly more and more people get involved? Like when a bank doesn't want to help with financing until you don't need them. That will also seem like the Law of Attraction (which it is) but that too is not a surprise.

You see, there are an awful lot of people who want to be successful, but don't want to do all the work. So they're busy scanning all horizons for someone/something to attach themselves too. If your neighbor is successful, these same people would attach themselves to the neighbor. If you're the one, then you can expect them to come around just as soon as you succeed.

So what's the point?
The point is that the Law of Attraction DOES exist. For some, it will be about love and light, but maybe for you it'll be about logic instead. That doesn't matter. What does matter is that it would be a real shame to miss out on opportunity because you think you can't think your way to success.

Well, think again.


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Here's opportunity staring you in the face... are you ready for action?

Hold em or Fold em...

In the movie The Gambler, Ken Rodgers has a song about knowing when to “hold ‘em” and when to “fold ‘em.” Basically understanding when it’s a good time to keep what you have, or when it’s better to just take your losses and move on.



Trusting your initial impression is good, but it’s not always the best choice. Some things are better kept keeping, even when the going gets rough… and some things are better giving away, even when they seem so good now. So how do you know when it’s right and when it’s not?



Here’s what we’re up against…



Everything in life has a level of pleasure and of pain.

Even if the measurement is zero, it’s still on the level and each of us has a different threshold of tolerance. That means that one set of rules for one person does not necessarily work for all people. However, as long as we look at generalities, we can at least set up some guidelines for us all to follow.



We all have our own ideas for resolution.

Some of us like to run away and hide from every little thing, while others always put up a fight.



We’re not always the best judge of our own moments

Our perspective is closer to each situation while we’re in it. We have our past experience that affects our reactions. Often times we second guess ourselves to the point of paralysis.



We don’t predict the future very well.

And even if we did, would we necessarily make better choices?



So whenever we’re faced with a situation where we have to choose, here’re some suggested questions to ask yourself:



How balanced am I?

How bad is the pain?

How close am I to my threshold?

If I’m past my threshold, is there a way to lower it or endure it by building up my tolerance?

Is the pleasure too much?

Am I seeking out the pleasure at the expense of other things?



Am I on the right path?

If I could go back in time and do something different, would I?

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Taking a closer look at it might reveal some clues to what we might be able to do in the future.



What are the consequences of my actions?

Will I or those I love be hurt by what I’m doing, or planning on doing? Or will everyone be better off?



If I move on, am I willing to live without what I leave behind?

“Folding ‘em” sometimes takes more commitment than staying. It’s a commitment to me and my future. Am I willing to risk the leap, and am I willing to let the past go?



Are there alternatives?

Are the alternatives really as good as they look from here? Or are they just better ‘cause the grass looks greener on the other side?



Are there alternatives to the alternatives?

I have more choices than I think. By opening myself up to finding new possibilities, I will discover options I’m not currently aware of.



Am I SURE?

Remember, I might not be the best judge of my moments, so I will get outside advice… from people I trust, but who don’t have a vested interest in the outcome. Remember that other people have their agendas as well, so make sure they care more about ME than themselves.



Once you’ve chosen, be ready to move forward with your choice wholeheartedly. Remember, you have more choices up ahead… and if the ones you make tomorrow aren’t much better than the ones you make today, you can go through this list again and plan for the day after tomorrow.

Do Less for More

Does it never seem like you have enough time to get stuff done? Are you one of those people who need lists just to keep track of your lists? Do you ever describe yourself as a “Jack of All Trades, Master of None”?



Spreading ourselves too thin is a chronic illness that often starts from childhood. We either have trouble saying no, or we get into that mode of thinking where “if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.” Or we’re still chasing after our dreams, with no real idea where we’re going, so keep gambling, thinking that the “next thing” is gonna be IT.



The solution is not in doing one thing more… and you not going to get more time, no matter how much you wish for. What is going to get you MORE out of life, is actually in doing LESS.



To get the most benefit out of this, you’ll need either a notepad or a lot of paper to write on…



Taking Inventory



First thing to do before going on your Time Diet is to take inventory. Write down the THINGS you do. That’s stuff like “Work” or “Family.” You know, the big ticket items. Put them across the top of the page, since they’re your categories.



Next, under that write down your ACTIVITIES associated with those THINGS. Use as much paper as you need to. This is an inventory, after all. And no particular order, just however they come to mind… “soccer practice” … “write that report” … “feed the dog.” In fact, the activities might remind you of some other THINGS that didn’t come up before.



When you’ve done that, label it “Inventory” and set it aside.



Assessing your current situation



On your next set of pages, write down each of the THINGS one at a time, with two columns below that. One column is labeled “BENEFITS” and the other “COST.” Then really take you time with each one and think, “what do I get out of doing this?” (e.g. education, health, personal satisfaction) That’s your BENEFIT. “What do I have to give in order to have this?” (e.g. money, time, blood pressure) is your COST.



Looking forward

Do the same as your current situation, but instead do it for the things you would like to do. “Write a novel,” “learn to fly,” “spend more time with my family;” whatever it is. Just write those THINGS done and their BENEFITS and COSTS.



The Five R’s



Rate ‘em

Next set of pages, write down the list of THINGS as a list. Rate them with one of the following letters:



A- Must have in my life; brings me the most rewards

B- Must have in my life; but costs too much

C- Don’t need in my life.



At this phase just rate them. You don’t need to have so many A’s and so many C’s. Just rate them.



After that though, it’s time to number them, by order of importance to you. You cannot have ties. It’s A1, A2, A3… B1, B2… C1, C2, C3, etc. Each letter starts off with “1”



Remove ‘em

Here’s the quickest way to trim your life and get more time. Say goodbye to the C’s. If you needed them in your life, they wouldn’t have been rated a “C.” So you can just stop all the C’s at once, cold turkey… or if that seems too drastic for you, start at the lowest C (i.e. C10) and work your way up til you reach C1.



Reduce ‘em

Next look at the B list. You said it cost too much. Time to look at the BENEFITS of those B items and brainstorm ideas. Put these ideas on pages labeled “BRAINSTORMING”



Ask yourself “how can I get the same benefit for less cost?” Consider the local park as an alternative to the movies as a way to spend time with your family. The cost is definitely less, and the time will be more rewarding. Remember that you’re brainstorming, no idea is silly. You’re trying to find way to get the same benefits for less time and money and whatever else it costs you.



Things to note:

• You can rate each activity as well, not just the categories

• You can always reevaluate the A list at any time to see if they really are A’s



Recommit ‘em

You’re getting rid of C’s and B’s because of how important A’s are to you. Now is the time to recommit yourself to those A’s. The best way to prevent yourself from taking on more C’s is to spend most of your time doing A’s.



Replace ‘em

If you’ve cut out the C list and reduced the B list, you’re going to discover a big shift in your life. Not only will you will have more time for the A items, but you’ll also have time to do the things on your wish list. The only rule here is that you can only choose one of the A wish list items at a time. Bring it into your life, and go through this whole process of the five R’s again before doing even more.



The key is in doing less STUFF, and more of the things that enrich your life.



Rate, Remove, Reduce, Recommit and Replace, and you will be able to Regain your life.

Stay Tuned...

Your life is a song, played by an orchestra. You are the conductor. And like every great conductor, you have to make sure that everything is in tune, played together in harmony, with style and grace.



So what song is yours? And what does it take to get it all together?



All the things that make up a good orchestra can be compared to what makes up a good life. After all, music is an expression of our souls… so we have so much we can learn from those that make the music happen.



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Accuracy

Every individual piece -- in fact, every individual note -- needs to be correct in order for the whole to be pure.



Is everything in my life being true to itself?



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Consistency

Does the note before it go with this one? And the next one? Does it make sense over time?



Am I living truthfully from moment to moment?



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Harmony

All the notes happening at the same time must go together.



Are the different aspects of my life working well with each other?



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Balance

In an orchestra, you can't have one section take over the whole piece. There has to be a time for each area to express itself.



Am I giving equal time to everything in my life?



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Quality

The value of the sound is all important to an orchestra. Is it full, rich, deep? Or thin and lonely sounding?



How fulfilling is what I'm doing in my life?



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Timing

One beat off, and you immediately know that something is wrong with a song. The same goes for your life.



Am I doing everything WHEN I should?



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Style

Every orchestra makes the same music sound different. They add their own sense of rhythm, mood; a sense of character.



Am I expressing myself fully?



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If your life isn't playing out like you want it to, remember that you are the conductor. You have a huge saying in how it comes out. A good conductor observes all that is going on in the present, and has a good understanding of how to direct it into the future.

Take control of this orchestra known as your Life, and let the world hear your song.



Bravo!

Not Yet Mended

Dear Gurustu,



"Jason" and I broke up last Valentines Day after dating for three years. He really broke my heart. I started going out with "Kevin" a couple of times after we met at a Christmas party and this is our first Valentines Day together. I'm excited, but really scared. What do I do?



Signed,

Not Yet Mended, Not Yet Dead.



.............................................



Dear NYM/NYD,



Valentines can be a great time for people in love; it can also be a time of great sadness for those without love... or a time of great pressure to move the relationship to the next level. This relationship is fairly new, so take it slow.



Approach this date without expectations. It's not like last Valentine's Day and it won't be like your next one either. Kevin isn't Jason, so don't plan as if he is... and don't plan as if he isn't either. Just go and enjoy yourself.



Also, put him at ease. He might be just as scared and as pressured. That won't bring you two any closer. If you haven't said "I love you" yet, don't feel like you HAVE to. It's tricky, I know, cause you don't want to NOT say it, for fear that it will signal that you're not really willing to go in that direction. Just be honest with him. Open communication can bring you two closer together. And if he knows he doesn't have to say or do anything but be with you, it might be all you need to have a fully loving relationship by next Valentines.



Just be true.



Gurustu

Resolutions Revisited

Last month sure was inspirational, huh? You had all those plans laid out... even knew exactly how you were going to achieve those goals. That's why they're called resolutions, right? …because you RESOLVED to change your life.



So how's it coming? Did you start? Did you achieve your goals? Are you still doing what you said you were?



The average resolution lasts for a couple of weeks. It usually dies because you really did plan on putting too much life into it in the first place. Your schedule went back to the old way, the cheese danish just looked too good to pass up, "you don't understand, it's not that easy!"



Well, no; most resolutions aren't easy. They don't happen overnight. But just because you may have slipped, or even given up by now, it's not too late to make NEW resolutions, instead of New YEARS resolutions.



First thing, whether you've been successful or not so far, take the time to review the past month. What have you been doing differently? What results have you seen?



Next, make adjustments to your plans. Plans, after all, are just guidelines. Tweaking them as they go along will suit your life better; and not force you into an all-or-nothing situation. Can't really get to the gym three times a week? How about a walking program one night a week after dinner?



And then just get back to it. If you've been sticking to it, congratulate yourself and just keep at it. If you've slipped a little (or a lot) just pretend the last month didn't happen, and start the resolutions THIS month.



Seriously, we're talking about your LIFE here… your WHOLE life.. and that's more time than the days between News Years and today… so revisit, review and revitalize those resolutions.



Happy Year!!